It's the middle of the afternoon and I haven't called you yet. I did, however, send you a text this morning. Sorry. I slowly coming to terms with the fact that you no longer want anything to do with me anymore. What I thought was forever really was just a delusion. It was what I wanted and for some reason I guess I thought it was what you wanted as well. I'm sorry. I send you a letter this morning. Hopefully you even bother reading it. Actually, I don't know what you did with all the letters I have sent you. Are you going to keep them? I sincerely hope so. I guess I'm holding on to the far fetched idea of you actually writing me back someday. Which leads me to a confession: I have been writing letters to you every night for the past week. I don't know if I'll ever have the nerve to send them to you, but they would tell you everything that's been on my mind.
Sunset in Corvallis yesterday evening...it was gorgeous and absolutely more peaceful than where my mind is at.
I decided last night that I need something to keep my mind off of you. Photography it is. I always enjoyed it but now I think I need it. Maybe I can use it to capture the happiness of the people around me. Maybe I will have to live vicariously through others from now on. Yes. That sounds good enough for me....maybe.
I love you. I miss you. And it gets harder everyday.
