I have decided to stop wallowing in my own self pity. I get that I'm not someone who deserves [or is able] to be loved. I am going to devote my time, my life to making sure everyone else around me is taken care of. There are so many people in the world who live unfortunate lives while I am lucky enough to have a roof over my head and the ability to obtain a higher education. So why not use my life to help better another? My life ambition has always been to "save the world one child at a time". I have always felt that the children in the world are our future. If we don't give them a chance or rather, help them to become their full potential, than we're doing a disservice to ourselves in the process. There are so many children in the world who are struggling with issues in their lives, whether it's lack of food, money, or even violence. So why not help them? I plan on adopting a child in the future when I'm stable enough in my life...at least enough to guarantee that I will be able to provide them with all the opportunities they deserve. I plan on working with children in whatever field I choose for my professional career- either social work or school counseling. If I can somehow make a difference in the world, maybe I won't have to focus so much on finding a solution to my life.
He always wanted me to grow and be stronger. So here I am. I'm growing. It doesn't change how I feel about him. It doesn't change how devastatingly hurt I am right now. It doesn't change anything.
