Ten Months

I am not even sure of what I want in my life right now.

Mike left this morning- earlier than expected, which is becoming a new trend. He is bored here but I am starting to think he is becoming bored with me. When he left, I did not send him off with a sweet good bye. In fact, I was pretty upset he was leaving. One day with him after two weeks of not seeing him is not enough. But I guess that is enough for him. Maybe I am being unreasonable and clingy. Nevertheless, I feel empty when he leaves. It just is not fair. Not only did I not have enough time with him, tomorrow is our ten month anniversary. I realize monthly anniversaries are lame but I have never gotten a chance to experience a realationship this long or this serious. If this hurts, just imagine how bad I will feel when our one year rolls around and we do not spend it together. I already know that is how it will be. Valentines Day is on a Sunday and he leaves by then...if not earlier.


I am sure I am being selfish. It is not about me. I am being stupid.