The blank unknown

As expected, I have been giving a lot of thought about my future. Especially with regards to my career. Most people have some idea of what they want to do with their lives. They may have that life long goal that they are working towards. Me? Well I always knew I wanted to work with children- specifically, I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. But then I discovered that my dream was not feasible, at least not through the eyes of my parents. Then I dreamt about being a pedatrician, which would combine my love of children with the doctor role my parents so desperately wanted from me. I maintained that goal into my first year of college and failed miserably. I never knew I could hate science SO much. Now I am finally following my own path and studying something I find interesting.

But what am I going to do with my degree?

I had a length conversation with a new friend today about the future. She was worried about her future in the medical world. And I am worried about nothing being able to establish my career in something that makes a difference in the world. I can see my friend becoming that doctor and opening her own practice. I on the other hand, cannot see myself doing anything. And I think the fact that my future is so...blank...that scares me. My mind is constantly plauged with "what ifs".


What if I cannot make anything for myself???