Crashing down

Even though I hate you for what you did to me. For the things you dared to say to me. For making me believe the things you said tome. For allowing me to fall in love with you. For breaking my heart and making my life empty again.

My life sucks without you. I miss you- a lot. Much more than I ever let on to anyone. I'm supposed to forget about you. But my heart just won't let me. I miss hearing and knowing that you love me. I miss you teasing me about things and telling me I always make you smile.

But in the end, I still know it was a dream. None of it was real- I just wanted it to be. I wanted it to be real so badly I didn't see the bad in you. The bad in us. I met someone after you. He hurt me. You always said I could do better than you but I can't believe it for myself. Everyone I've met since you has done nothing but treat me poorly. If I'm as great as you used to say I am, then why won't anyone stay with me? Why can't I be the girl someone actually falls for?

I just want the dream to come back to me. If that can't happen then I want to purge you from my memory. I want to forget I ever met you. I wish I never fell in love with you. I wish...you NEVER decided to call me that one night. Why did you? You're gone and living your life and I'm left here trying to piece back my heart. But I can't because you still have it.