It is what it is

We all know how the saying goes: "everything happens for a reason". I absolutely dislike this phrase. I've been hearing this all my life. I remember asking my mom why bad things keep happening to me and I received that phrase as a response. I was a lot younger then so my mind had difficulties comprehending what she meant.

Years later I still find myself struggling to understand it. Everything happens for a reason? Why do good things happen to bad people? Why do bad things happen to good people? Neither of those instances make any sense to me. I personally believe I am a good person. I work hard to have what I do and I try my best to better myself. I don't cause harm to others nor do I cheat or steal.

With that being said, I also realize I have my faults. I am far from perfect. I have told lies before. I have found myself disliking people. I have broken laws [speeding and drinking when I was still a minor]. I'm not incredibly intelligent and school is hard. I don't trust people, therefore making relationships difficult. I struggle to be a good person at times.

But overall, I TRY. And if the so called fates have something else in store for me that counters everything I try to do in my life, I guess I no choice but to go along with it. I can't let them win. I can't [won't] be defeated by some unknown being. If fate wants bad things to happen to be ...well, I'm dying to know what the reasons are.