Determination

It's been a few days since I started my healthier eating habits. My portions are a lot smaller and I eat small snacks every 4 hours or so. I am determined to keep this up. I am determined to lose weight and be healthier. I am determined to do something to feel better about myself. I need to feel worthy again.

The last month has taken a huge toll on me- mentally, emotionally and physically. I dove head first into self pitying, eating sweets, and all out feeling ultimately defeated. I'm starting to find myself more and more each day. I can't say I'm over Him or that I'm not hurting anymore, but it's getting easier for me to push those feelings to the back of my head. I know I need to focus on myself now, more than ever.

The new term starts tomorrow and I'm sitting in bed right now, freaking out a bit. There are only a few things I need to focus on right now- school and the health of my mom and my sister. That's all that matters for the moment. I'm sure there will be moments when I find myself getting distracted with something, but I hope it doesn't result in the downfall of my own success.

Side note: I've started to pray every night before bed. I pray for his safety overseas. Does that mean I'm not letting go? Or is it just because I still [will always] care for him?