Reach for the clouds

When I was growing up, my parents never really said anything along the lines of "You can be anything and everything you want to be". I was never the little girl who wanted to be things such as a princess or a ballerina. I remember the complete list of answers I'd give when someone would as me, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"- I wanted to be a dentist, pediatrician, pediatric nurse, medical assistant, and now a social worker. I guess something remained constant- my goal of helping others. The one occupation I have always dreamed of doing was not listed because my parents completely shot down the idea when I first presented it years ago. I have always [and still do] wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. I love kids and I love working with them. I would have a daily role in shaping a child's education and help them grow into their own unique person. It would have been perfect.

You'd think that parents would want their children to do anything they want to in order to be happy, but I think my parents and I have a different perception of what happiness is.

To my parents, happiness is measure by wealth and material goods such as a house and a nice car. They want me to have a job where I have a high wage but I don't have to work as hard for my money.

To me, happiness isn't measured in by how much money I make. I want to do something that will make me happy as a person. I want to find ways to help people in need; to change the world, or at least do a small part for the larger change in the future. I want to make a difference for others, and not so much for myself. But then again I also want to be able to give back to my parents. I want to make sure they will be okay in the future.

I realize that they just want whats best for me. They don't want me to have to struggle to make ends meet like they did when they first came to the United States. I have the utmost respect for both of my parents. They have sacrificed so much for both my brother and I. They have taught me everything about working hard and understanding what I personally have to sacrifice in order to make it in the world. But really, I want them to understand that I make my own decisions, not to disappoint them, but to better the people around me. I really do hope they understand that someday.

I will succeed in the world, but just not the same way my parents want me to. I guess I fear that my goals will be lost in translation and my parents will be disappointed in me.

Let's hope that's not the case.