Stream of conciousness

It's cold outside. It hasn't stopped raining in days. I miss the sunshine. But I do want to go puddle jumping. I miss my boyfriend. Did I mention every day I come home from class, all I want to do is cuddle up with him? I love the winter season but I hate how sad I can get sometimes. I love being in love but I hate being so far away from him. Sometimes I feel as though things don't go my way because they aren't meant to. I wish I had more definite answers in my life. I wish I didn't have any responsibilities here. I wish I could be with him forever, right now. I wish I wasn't here. I'm tired of classes. I'm tired of trying so hard but not achieving what I think I deserve. I am looking forward to coming home for Thanksgiving. Things might actually be okay with my parents. My brother is a lost cause and I have decided to stop caring. I need to get a job. I need to figure things out. I hate how I can't see what he's like when he's talking to me. I'm worried that he really is just frustrated with me. There are so many things I want to change in my life, but I just don't know if I can handle it. I need someone to support me in my decisions. I really have never felt a love like this. My biggest fear is that he will stop loving me. Le sigh.